Tuesday, July 24, 2007

OK, Second Time is a Charm

I'm sorry - July 20 came and went, and I definitely did not come or go, but stayed. Things did not go according to plan, and the air compressor I fashioned to shoot me like a cannonball of miracles from mother's womb was undone through a faulty hose - a part impossible to replace quickly. I just knew I should have used some of mother's small intestine instead, but I feared that removing it might alter the fact that when she farts it smells like fresh-cut lilacs.

Anyway, the unintended result is that all of the talk surrounding my arrival eclipsed the Umluat's birthday almost as much as the actual event would have (but not as much, because actual eclipses, both solar and lunar, will coincide with my birth). And I am positively marinating in the sweet fact that she will get to experience it all over again, when I actually do enter this world.

Father, Mother, and I are all making our final preparations for the real thing. Soon you will know my name, my gender, and then some pictures that may stun you with beauty, or may just cause you to sigh knowing something so pure is in the world. Either way, you will defintely conclude that Shiloh was just a hunk of rancid whale meat compared to me.

Growth Note: My footprint is a small scale version of Da Vinci's The Last Supper

4 comments:

Tammy said...

I love this blog! You are hugely talented and hilarious. I also love the nickname you gave Gisele. Unlaut. I just call her Fugly. Thanks for visiting the Splash blog.

Ra-Ra-Ra-Rachel said...

Awww ... and I was getting so excited thinking about seeing Baby's pretty face!

Tammy said...

We need a Dreamboat Baby post!!! Come on...one more for the road...

Dreamboat Baby said...

Tammy, your commitment to Umlaut Awareness and enthusiasm will earn you a place among my council of elders, academics, and people who are otherwise awesome. I pronounce you to be the Public Liaison for Umlaut Awareness and Ridicule. Now go forth and execute this charge.