Wednesday, May 14, 2008

Hear Ye! Hear Ye!

Listen to Father's voice and be instantly transported to a time before time itself, where hardy warriors and explorers of olden days drank in mead halls and fought for honor in hand to hand combat. Where plated armor was forged and worn in battle, and fatted pigs were roasted on spits in victory. Listen ye, to his voice that travels like a savage ghost from ages past - echoing the clashes of swords and the cries of fallen men. If you ask me, he makes Beowulf sound like a total pussy.

Note to both female and male readers - Due to the combination of figurative and literal potency of Father's words, everyone who hears this should immediately take thrice the recommended dosage of Plan B to avoid pregnancy.

Note to Employees of ESPN (the Four Letter): I assume that trickling sound I hear is you Bristol bitches pissing yourselves.

Growth Note: The whites of my eyes are made of liquid molten alabaster.

Via Small White Ball

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