Tuesday, February 27, 2007

Pimp My Uterus


You may all wonder what it looks like dans la maison, so I've done a little etching to give you some idea of my living quarters. It's not much but, I call it home. I'm planning on sprucing up the place a bit now that I've just completed remodeling the outside of my uterine domicile. It used to look like this:


But thanks to some good old fashioned elbow grease (or more accurately - the amniotic fluid surrounding fleshy clumps which will ultimately become my perfect elbows), the uterus and its support system is now much more my style. Aggressive. Powerful. Combustible.


When I am born I will shoot out of mothers womb at 120 mph while singing the entirety of Carmina Burana. You think Shiloh Pitt Jolie did that? No, that hooker-lipped blob certainly did not. That bitch probably came out crying.

Growth Note: My first words will be winning lottery numbers.

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